And so the ball is rolling

 So after the previous fire was finally put out (but still smoldered for some time after), things seemed to get better. So the spouse (again, most know who this is) started a friendship with a certain other female that is no longer employed there. Not an issue at all.....at least in the beginning. The girl had a daughter about the same age as our daughter and went to the same day care together. They were sorta friends but looking back I think was more forced because of the adult friendship. After finding out that the girl and husband had divorced or split or whatever that drama was, I was told some interesting stuff. The ex had beat her up, cheated on her, pistol whipped her in front of their daughter. Nice guy. Oh yeah, nice guy, if you are reading this, you are in for a major surprise.
 So my spouse and this other female became pretty good friends. Our children did a few birthday parties together because they were invited by other day care kids. My daughter was invited to go to the other girls dance class once or twice. There may have been a few other things but not real sure. What I am sure of is, looking back, I was uninvited to go along because "well she (the little one) has daddy issues and if you (me) go, it might make her feel bad because her dad isn't there." I played nice back then even though it made me mad. Seeing all this in hindsight, I should have stood my ground and went. Not my fault their family was screwed up. Can't hide all the dads from her all the time. It was nothing more than a bullshit story. I will now add one of the conversations we had about one of the outings that I was not invited to:

On the 8^th, my spouse said something to me about our daughter going with her friend to a dance class on the 9^th. That was not a problem. The girls mother was to pick her up after daycare and go from there. Still not a problem.

(spouse) Addi wants me to go to the dance thing tonight.  She said she's scared because she doesn't know the class.

(me) Let me guess. I shouldn't go because of her friends daddy issue?

(me) So why is it an issue if I go?

(spouse) Forget it, I'm not going.  You are driving me nuts with this...  Let me ask you this, if I wasn't going would you want to go?

 *ok this was not an issue of anyone going until Addison asked. Yes then I felt like I needed to go as well*

(spouse) I mean seriously, what is the big deal?????  There's no mention of anything, until you find out that Addison asks me to go, then all the sudden you want to go too.  So you put me between a rock and a hard spot.  I can either piss you off and go, or I can lie to Addi and not go...

(me) All I did was ask a question. You don't have to get mad at me. Sorry.

(spouse) The more I think about it, I am going.  This was supposed to be for Addison, not for you.  You know the only reason I'm going is because she asked me to.  You know where we will be, so I don't see the issue.  And I'm beyond sick of dealing with your stupid insecurities.  I mean really, what pray tell do you think is going to go on?  And obviously you think something because there is no way you would want to go otherwise.

(spouse) Well I am mad.  Why do I have to answer for everything I do?  Why do you always question me like you think I'm doing something wrong?  I tired of it.  No more...  Either trust me or don't but I'm not going to be chained in this CF because you have issues.  I will have friends outside of yours, and you will have to deal with it.  I don't go everywhere you do, and all I'm saying is I would like the same.

(me) I never questioned you at all. I only asked if I was not invited because of her friend. You are the one that got mad at me. I never accused you of anything or thought otherwise. Again I only asked why I wasn't invited.

(me) You are right you don't go everywhere I do but whether you go or not, I at least ask. Sorry I pissed you off for asking. Sorry you assumed I was accusing you of whatever.

(me) As far as you talking about MY insecurities, remember, I am the one that gets uninvited to things because of someone else’s insecurities.

(me) Do not want to fight with you. Love you.

(spouse) Here's the thing, she invited Addison.  It has nothing to do with you. Whatever, it's over.  But it does frustrate me that I can't do anything without you making me feel bad.

Wow.......nice conversation huh? I asked a simple question and it was blown out of proportion and made to be about everything except what I asked. Anyone else see that? It will become clear......just keep reading.....next post.